


Behind Blue Eyes

by SuicideChild



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Again, And Dean can be a bit of a dick, And he feels useless all the time, And she is also alive, Angst, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Sam, Castiel in the Bunker, Castiel is a human, Charlie is in the bunker, I like Drama, If I could find a way to incorporate Benny in this, Kevin is alive, Lucifer is top side, M/M, Michael also shows up, Slow Build, Smut, This is going to end ugly, This was only supposed to be one chapter, charlie is all alone, i can't tag, i feel like i should add another chick to this, i got carried away, maybe I'll try to add some humour to this, seriously, whoops, yay, you better believe that I would
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-04-28 01:25:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5072596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuicideChild/pseuds/SuicideChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always something behind the intense blue eyes of the Devil's temporary vessel. Most of the time, Sam can tell what it is, irritation, or hunger, or sometimes even sadness. However, there are times when Sam can't even begin to comprehend what Lucifer is thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Guest

There was always something to be seen behind the blue eyes of the Morningstar's temporary vessel. Currently, it was immense irritation. He was irritated for multiple reasons. One, it was raining, and he was standing outside. Two, he had no clue where Sam was, and he'd been trying to find the young Winchester for a while now. And three, he was deteriorating quicker. And, although he was growing fond of Nick's body (or perhaps he was just telling himself that to cope with the fact that he didn't have access to his actual vessel), he felt a little out of place, so he made it his goal to find Sam.

For some reason, when Metatron had cast all of the angels out of heaven, Lucifer and Michael had been ripped from the Cage, and brought back to earth. During the first few weeks of their return, the two oldest archangels were practically inseparable. However, when Lucifer's vessel had began to deteriorate, he had insisted on going to go find Sam. Michael tried to invite himself along, but Lucifer refused to allow his brother to accompany him. He decided that two archangels (especially the two archangels that had tried to possess the Winchester boys) would be a bit overwhelming.

Unfortunately, due to the enochain branding that the boys had on their ribs, the task was proving a lot more difficult than he had originally expected, and as he searched, he kept getting more and more angry. He almost gave up a few times, but now he had an idea.

And that's how he got to where he was standing right now, face turned to the rain, clothes soaked, hair sticking to his face, shouting in the middle of a crossroads, probably looking like an idiot.

He'd been waiting for what seemed like an eternity, shouting and stomping around in the rain like a... how did Death describe him..? Oh, yes. A bratty child having a tantrum. He didn't care though. He wanted to find Sam, and he got what he wanted.

Where the hell was he? "Crowley, dammit! Get your pompous ass up here! I need your help!" This felt low to Lucifer, having to work so hard to summon something that he created using the crossroads. He despised it, but it had to be done. He needed to find Sam.

After about ten minutes of yelling, when his voice was starting to grow hoarse, the paunchy Scotsman showed up, much to the Devil's relief. "It took you long enough, you fat bastard!" He snapped.

Crowley clicked his tongue at the man standing in front of him, "Really now, this is just ridiculous, Lucifer, having to summon your own demon using a crossroads?"" He teased lightly.

Lucifer, however, was in no mood, so he simply scowled, "You forget yourself, Crowley. All it takes is one touch, and you'll be dead." He warned in a low, threatening growl.

Crowley shook his head and let out a long sigh, "What do you want, Lucifer?" He asked.

"I need you to find someone." Lucifer demanded before Crowley even finished his sentence.

Crowley raised an eyebrow, "And who would that be?"

"I believe that you and the Winchester boys were in business together for awhile, am I wrong?" Lucifer pointed an accusing finger at Crowley.

Crowley laughed softly, "Well, they had me locked away in the basement of their bunker for a while, if that's what you're referring to." He said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, that." Lucifer said, nodding quickly, hand falling back to his side. "The bunker. Do you remember where it is?" He asked, "Can you take me there?" He stepped towards Crowley, and pointing at him again, eyes hard, but also a bit pleading.

Once more, Crowley raised an eyebrow, "I believe I can... however, what on earth do you want with the Winchester boys?" He asked.

"I am the one doing the questioning here, _Fergus_." Lucifer spat. "Take me to the bunker, now, before I lose my patience." The Devil's voice was cold, rough, forceful, demanding. His icy blue optics said that he wasn't playing games anymore.

"Fine." Crowley said with a low, long sigh. He grabbed Lucifer's wrist, and in a blink they were in the middle of nowhere, in front of the bunker. "Here we are, Luci. The bunker." He said, gesturing towards the entrance of the Winchester's hide away. Lucifer didn't look, however, not taking his gaze from Crowley.

It was the sound of a car engine that drew Lucifer's attention away from Crowley for even a second. When he looked back to where the demon had been standing, he was no longer there. " _Dammit_ , Crowley." He spat. For a moment, he glanced around for a place to hide, but without luck. After a moment he disappeared, turning invisible, just as the Impala rolled into view. Dean got out of the car, however, Sam didn't appear to be with him, which probably meant he was inside, so Lucifer lingered by the door of the bunker, waiting for Dean to open it.

Lucifer slunk after Dean into the bunker once the door was open. The archangel followed him into the library, before breaking off on his own to roam the halls of their underground home, looking around for Sam. He looked through open doors, and even opened some doors to look for the younger Winchester. Eventually he found the man sitting in the center of his bed, looking very invested in whatever crap movie he was watching.

However, when he did find him, and when he opened and closed the door, Sam became more alert, reaching for the shotgun he kept leaned against his nightstand. Lucifer crawled onto the  bed, right behind Sam, who had become rigid, on edge. He put his hand over Sam's mouth so that he wouldn't scream, and then became visible. The younger Winchester immediately began to thrash about in Lucifer's grip.

"Hold still, Sammy..." Lucifer said. "I'm not here to hurt you, I'm not here to negotiate, or try to convince you to allow me in..." He continued, "So I need you to stay calm. I'm going to let you go, and I need for you not to scream, or panic, or freak out. I'm just here to talk to you Sam." He finished.

After a moment's thought, Sam nodded slowly.

When Lucifer removed his hand, Sam spun and pinned the Devil on his back, an arm across his throat, "How did you get here?" He hissed, relieving the pressure just enough so that Lucifer could talk.

"Here in the bunker? Or here on earth?" Lucifer countered.

Sam pushed back down against Lucifer's throat, "I... I... Uh... Both!!" Sam exclaimed after a moment, once more relieving the pressure.

"Well, I'm here on earth because for some bloody reason, when Metatron cast all of the angels out of heaven, Michael and I got ripped up from the roots of hell, plucked up out of the cage and thrown right back into our human vessels." Lucifer said, with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

Sam looked at him quizzically, but Lucifer just shrugged again, "I have no clue why it happened, it just happened, just go with it." He said before Sam got a chance to ask the question that was about to bubble over his lips. "As for how I got to the bunker, Crowley brought me here, and I followed Dean inside when he opened the door."

Sam sighed and shook his head with a click of his tongue. "Alright, well give me one good reason I shouldn't get Dean or Castiel in here right now." He prompted, scowling softly at the intruder.

"Uhm, well..." Lucifer paused, trying to think of a good reason, "Uh... Uh, well... I..." He wrinkled his nose, "Well... Now, you see... You shouldn't call Dean, because...." He sighed, "Well, I don't exactly have a good reason."

Sam moved away from Lucifer, allowing him up, then opened his mouth, "De- _mph_!" Lucifer's hand was back around Sam's mouth as soon as the word began to leave his lips, tackling him down, and pinning Sam on his stomach.

"Look, I just want to talk." Lucifer insisted. He jerked his hand away when Sam bit down on his palm, "Bitch!" He snapped, surprise evident in his voice.

"Jerk!" Was Sam's instinctive reply.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow, and then shook his head, "Anyways, like I said, I _just want to talk_." He said, dragging the last words out to make sure Sam understood.

"Why?" The younger Winchester demanded.

"I... I don't know..." Lucifer shook his head again, "I guess... I guess it's just because..." He paused to think about what he was going to say, "Because I like your attention." He confessed.

Sam seemed to grow flustered for a brief moment, before he regained his composure, "You..." He shook his head, "I'm sorry, you _what_?" He asked cautiously.

"I like your attention, Sam." Lucifer said, before shaking his head, "Don't think anything of it." He added after a moment.

Sam sighed softly, and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking up at Lucifer, "What did you come to talk about?" He asked.

"What are things that you normally talk about?" Was Lucifer's reply, after a moment of thought.

Sam scoffed, "So, you're telling me that you came here to talk to me, and yet you don't have a damn thing to talk about?" He asked incredulously, glaring at Lucifer out of the corner of his eye.

The man laughed quietly, "Guess so." He said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Sam furrowed his eyebrows, suddenly giving Lucifer a very confused look. "Hey, wasn't your vessel dead when you left it?" He asked.

Lucifer took a moment before he realized what Sam meant, "What. You mean Nick?" He asked. "Yeah, he was dead..." He nodded slowly, "What about it?"

"Well, I mean... How did you get it back?" Sam pushed.

"I'm sentimental." Lucifer answered.

"Sentimental... You... _You're_ sentimental?" Sam snorted in disbelief.

"Yeah, so what?"

"You don't seem the type." Sam said.

"What are you talking about? You're kidding, right?" Lucifer raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Lucifer, the final seal you needed broken to get out of the cage was to kill the first demon that you created." Sam pointed out.

"That does not count as proof!" Lucifer defended, nudging Sam and flashing a silly grin at the hunter. Lucifer noticed the small smile tugging at the corner of Sam's lips, and his own smile became more permanent. "Hey, do I get bonus points for making you smile?" He asked.

Sam composed himself quickly, and quirked an eyebrow, "Bonus points for what?" He asked.

Lucifer shrugged, and frowned again, "Well, maybe bonus points... just... just because... just bonus points in general... I don't know, maybe they mean you wont hate me as much." He said, his tone sounding a bit dejected.

Sam sighed almost silently, ignoring the weird feeling that bubbled in his chest. He got up off the bed, and fixed his shirt, "You should probably go, Lucifer." He said, heading towards the door, "I'm telling Dean that you're here." He then left, leaving Lucifer perched on the bed by himself.

◈

Dean hadn't actually done anything about Lucifer's presence. He simply dismissed Sam's complaints, saying that if something happened, he would take care of it. Sam was surprised with his brother's decision, it seemed out of his nature. Lucifer, on the other hand, kind of suspected that Castiel had something to do with Dean allowing him to stay. He would question the angel about it later, he decided on his first day.

He still hasn't gotten around to doing so.

Though Lucifer had now only been at the bunker for about three days, he had made himself right at home. He got his own room, just like everyone else. He didn't have a lot of earthly possessions, but he did end up finding a few things that he liked, either lying around the bunker, and when he accompanied Dean to the store once. He seemed particularly interested in the books, and Sam was almost positive that the fallen angel had stolen one of his shirts, however, he had no proof.

When Lucifer happened to find something he liked, he seemed almost tentative to even touch it. He was doing his best to not overstep his boundaries.

He was getting under Sam's skin.

"Why are you even still here?" Sam asked bitterly as he entered the library.

Lucifer was at the table, reading over one of the journals that were kept in the bunker. When Sam spoke, he ripped his eyes from the page, and trained his gaze on the younger Winchester. For a moment, he was silent, mulling the question over, looking down at his lap. "It helps the hiraeth." He said at length, looking back up at Sam and carding his fingers through his tousled blonde hair.

"Hiraeth?" Sam raised an eyebrow, shaking his head, making it entirely clear that he didn't know what the word meant as he sat down across from Lucifer.

"It's... ugh..." Lucifer sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly exasperated, "It's a Welsh word. It has no direct English translation. It means to be homesick for a home that you cannot return to, or that never existed in the first place." He explained, then paused before continuing, "Perhaps that is why your brother is allowing me to stay. He understands the pain of such a homesickness." He mused.

Sam snorted in disbelief, "I can assure you that Dean has no sympathy for the Devil." His words came out perhaps a little harsher than he intended. He felt a little bad when he saw Lucifer flinch.

However, Lucifer quickly recomposed himself, and a sly smile crept across his features, "What about you, Sammy?" He practically purred, "Do I get any sympathy from you?" He looked extremely pleased when he saw Sam shifting uncomfortably.

Lucifer hoisted himself out of his seat, allowing the book he was reading to fall closed, and walked around the table. Sam's body grew rigid as the Morningstar stopped directly behind his chair and leaned forward. His icy cool breath across the back of Sam's neck made the mortal shiver, unfortunately, the shiver had more to do with the proximity rather than Lucifer's cold breath. "What's wrong, Sammy?" His lips were only a few centimeters Sam's ear, "Am I making you..." He paused for a moment, and Sam could feel his lips form into a wicked half-grin, "Uncomfortable?"

Lucifer's scent was intoxicating. The archangel's breath reeked of rum and stale coffee, and his skin smelled faintly of ash, and petrichor. It was an earthly scent, it was a pleasant scent, and it drew Sam closer. He suddenly shot to his feet, and shoved Lucifer away when that same weird feeling from before sparked in his chest. Before Lucifer had a chance to say anything, Sam stormed off, praying that he wouldn't be followed.

Unfortunately, Lucifer didn't give up so easily. He went after him, "Sam, I'm sorry." He said as he caught up, grabbing Sam's wrist gently to stop him from walking any further. "I'm sorry." He repeated, as if he didn't really know what else to say.

Sam wrenched his wrist away from Lucifer's grasp, "Just leave me alone, Lucifer." He said through gritted teeth. "I _don't want_ you around!" He spat.

Lucifer watched Sam for a moment, before nodding, "Understood." He said, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice. He was not successful, however. He brushed past Sam and retreated to his room, closing the door quietly, and locking it with a faint click.

Lucifer sat down on his bed, and stayed still for a long while, just thinking. Being that close to Sam had sparked a different kind of desire in him, and he didn't know what to think of it. It was a kind of desire that made his stomach twist, and his heart flutter in his chest. Confusion weighed heavy on the Morningstar.

After a while, a low groan emitted from the angel's mouth, and he shifted onto his back, letting his thoughts wander anywhere, to anything else but Sam.


	2. Getting on My Nerve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer begins to avoid and ignore Sam. His moping about gets on Dean's nerve, so he confronts Castiel about his reasons behind allowing Lucifer to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so very sorry to whoever is following this that it's taken me so long to update. I couldn't seem to come up with any ideas for what to do next, but I knew I had to update. I'm kind of winging it here, so sorry if this is pure, unadulterated crap. And I'm sorry that it's short.

It was a day after the argument that Lucifer had gotten into with Sam, and Sam hadn't seen anything of Lucifer.

He felt bad for what he had said, but since he couldn't find the archangel, he couldn't do anything about it. He trudged into the library, hands in his pockets, and saw Lucifer reading a book with a blue cover that Sam had never seen before, tucked comfortably in a leather armchair in the corner of the room. However, as soon as Sam entered the room, Lucifer looked up and then disappeared, letting the text he had been reading fall to the floor with a clatter. Sam knitted his eyebrows together, and went to pick up the book, studying the cover, which read in darker blue letters, "Finnegans Wake by James Joyce".

He didn't know much about the work, just that it was one of the most difficult books in the English language due to it's lack of clear plot line, and entirely too difficult vocabulary, and that the man who had written it was Irish.

He set the book back down on the chair, and brushed off Lucifer's behavior, before looking for another book to read. He picked one that was haphazardly thrown on the table. This one wasn't research notes or anything to do with the supernatural, but instead, he recognized it as a fantasy novel that Charlie had left last time she was there. It was called "The Way of Kings" and it was written by a man named Brendon Sanderson. He studies the cover for a moment before settling down in one of the chairs at the table and beginning to read.

He quite enjoyed the book, and found himself engrossed in the story. It wasn't until Kevin ventured through the library on his way to the kitchen, hours later, that Sam put the book down. "Hello, Kevin." He greeted.

Kevin looked at him, "Hey, Sam." He said, then looked at the book, "What are you reading?" He asked.

Sam looked at the cover again, thumb keeping his place, "It's called The Way of Kings." He said. "I think it's the first book of a series. It's pretty good." He smiled.

Kevin nodded, "Cool." He pointed towards the kitchen, "I'm going to go eat." He said.

Sam nodded and waved him off before going back to reading.

He looked up again when he heard the rustling of wings. He saw Lucifer, who was now nestled back in the chair with the book on his lap, but he remained silent, not speaking to Sam.

"Hello." Sam tried.

Lucifer didn't say anything, but continued to read "Finnegans Wake".

"How's the book?" Sam tried again.

No response.

"I heard it was a difficult read."

Once more, Sam got no response.

"Are you just going to ig-" Lucifer disappeared, this time taking the book with him.

Sam let out a weary sigh, chewing on his lip. He tried to focus back on the book he had been reading, but he had no such luck. He marked his place and set the book down before wandering off to look through one of the many store rooms that the Bunker had.

◈

Dean didn't know what had happened when he and Castiel had gone to get food yesterday, but whatever it was, it put Lucifer in a funk, because he moped around the hallways of the Bunker, and practically ran from Sam every time they ended up in the same room. It was starting to get on his nerve, bringing him down a little, even. He wasn't comfortable enough to confront Lucifer about it, and he assumed that the Devil would only push the subject aside. And if he confronted Sam about it, his brother would get mad, and it would likely end in another fight. He couldn't ask Kevin about it, because the boy never came out of his room, and wouldn't know anything about it- or perhaps he would. Dean didn't want to risk it, so he confronted Castiel, cornering the former angel in his room.

"Why are you allowing Lucifer to stay here?" Dean demanded of his best friend.

Castiel's mouth twisted into a frown, "Because, despite everything he's done, he is still my family." He said, before adding, "And I firmly believe that he isn't planning anything devious or diabolical."

Dean sighed, "He's getting on my nerve." He said.

Castiel frowned even more, "What do you mean? He hasn't even interacted with you, Dean."

"He's constantly sulking!" Dean exclaimed, "He mopes about the Bunker, and runs from Sam with his tail between his legs like an abused mutt!" He threw his hands up in exasperation, "And Sam is starting to sulk to! I want to know what happened!"

Castiel sighed, "Dean, perhaps this is just you finding a reason to kick Lucifer out of the Bunker due to your overprotective nature."

Dean recoiled briefly, "I'm not overprotective!" He exclaimed.

Castiel shook his head, "You are, Dean. You are very overprotective." He said with another deep sigh.

Dean frowned, "You are no help at all." He grumbled. Immediately, he regretted it. He could see the sting of the words on Castiel's face for a brief moment. He, at this point, considered himself quiet good at reading Castiel's micro-emotions. "Cas, I-"

Castiel held up a hand to silence Dean, "No, you're right. I'm only useful when I have my grace. I can't do anything right as a human." He said bitterly, before turning around and trudging over to his bed.

"That isn't what I-"

"You should go, Dean." Castiel said.

Dean sighed, and nodded slowly, "Yeah... alright." He turned and walked out of the room, head down.

◈

Several hours later, when Dean was starting to fall asleep, Castiel shuffled into his room, "Hello, Dean." He began, "Can we talk?" He asked quietly. He sounded like he had been crying and that made Dean's heart shatter.

Dean sat up to see Castiel standing in the doorway in an oversized sweater that swallowed his frame entirely, and made him look dorky, and adorable. He also wore striped pajama pants. Dean smiled a little,  but then frowned. Castiel's eyes were rimmed red, and he looked very dejected. Dean cleared his throat, "Sure, Cas." He said, getting out of bed. The stone floor of the bunker was cold under his feet, "Come sit down." He decided hastily, before sitting back down.

 Castiel walked over to Dean's bed, and sat down on the edge. He opened his mouth to speak, but Dean spoke up first, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Cas. I don't think you're useless." He said. Castiel looked up at him and frowned deeply. He tried to start speaking again, but Dean continued, "And it doesn't matter if you can't heal us anymore, or smite things with a touch of your hand, or-"

"I get it, Dean." Castiel cut in, holding up a hand. "I just wanted to say, I know you didn't mean I was useless, I was just irritated, and I overreacted." He said with a small frown. "I know that you're uneasy with Lucifer here, and I know that you don't trust him, but I genuinely don't think he's up to something. He could kill us all with very little effort, and he hasn't yet, nor has he tried to manipulate us, or get anything from us. For the most part, he's been reading." He said, sighing a little, and frowning deeper. He met Dean's gaze, "So if you could please just relax and give him a chance, things would be better." He finished.

Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting his eyes slip closed for a moment. He inhaled sharply before opening his eyes again and looking Castiel again. "Fine." He said reluctantly.

Castiel smiled gratefully at Dean, "Thank you." He said. He hopped off the bed and walked away, leaving Dean alone.

He wasn't tired anymore. Just very bored, and since he couldn't get to sleep now, Dean pulled out his laptop, and turned it on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a comment if you like this! Or if you want to request a prompt for me to write, because I will totally do that too! Also, I wasn't joking about the Finnegans Wake thing. That book is impossible to follow. Don't read it. Or do if you want to challenge yourself.


End file.
